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The past few months, I’ve been working on a coaching program and digital course. Let me tell you – I thought I knew a lot about this digital world we are living in, but boy…I’ve had a LOT to learn the past few months.

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I’ve had to learn all about digital platforms to host my course and then how to actually do it…which platform is best for delivering emails and automations…setting up automations…oh yeah…and then there’s the “how do you promote your business when algorithms change frequently on Facebook and Instagram?”

Not to mention I’ve been serving my clients, virtual school, life and all the things that come along with that…it’s a lot.

TRUTH IS - Everyone has a lot going on, right?

So, how do I stay on top of it all? What’s my secret weapon?

I’ll tell you what: I have an accountability partner. I have a business coach.

Yep, even though I’m a solopreneur – I invested in a business coach who asks all the right questions and helps me stay on track.

Listen, I’m new to this online way of doing things. Sure, I’ve posted on Facebook and Instagram a few times over the years. But, promoting a business and selling it online…that’s a whole new ball game. It’s highly technical and there can be a lot of “noise” that can be very distracting too.

The most impactful move I’ve made in my business is to have someone by my side helping to keep my eye on the prize, so to speak. I’ve learned to stay focused on MY infinite potential.

I was reading an article in entrepreneur.com about business accountability partners and found this fascinating…

Linda Galindo, author of The 85% Solution: How Personal Accountability Guarantees Success (Jossey-Bass, 2009), says accountability partners are an entrepreneur’s secret weapon for quick growth. “Working with a partner prevents the ready-fire-aim approach that a lot of entrepreneurs use,” she says.

It’s so true. Whether you’re a business owner or leader in an organization, it’s so easy to get caught up making rapid-fire decisions because you’re stuck and need to quickly get out of a rut. But, the fact of the matter is that important decisions are best made by talking it out and thinking things through with someone who can be honest with you and help keep you aligned to your vision and goals.

I’ve got a challenge for you…

I want you to think about just ONE THING you desire to improve in your business or organization.

What is it that’s nagging at you?

What do you wish could be handled differently or had a different outcome?

Identify ONE PERSON who can help you stay focused on that ONE THING you need to accomplish.

Who is that person?

What is their name?

Do they have the skills needed to help you achieve your one thing?

Will they be brutally honest with you or just tell you what you want to hear?

Get real here. If you want to move mountains, you need someone who will not only hold your hand but will give you the step by step directions so you know how to get there.

Then, go talk to that person about your ONE THING you want to improve and WHAT you want them to do…and be specific. How many times a week do you need a check-in?

Be clear about your expectations and what you need from them regarding feedback and accountability.

 

If it’s hard to find that “right person” to help you – I get it. I wanted to hire someone who actually had a plan to help me…and she did and still does. If you need someone to be that person who can hold your hand, has a plan, and will keep you focused…I’d love to help.

Are you feeling checked out of your business — and maybe life in general?

This year, I’ve worked with clients who came to me feeling exhausted, grouchy, and just lost. Here’s what we discovered in our coaching sessions — they were dealing with burnout.

 

BIG TIME Burnout.

It has been ROUGH.

Sleep is something that is hard to come by these days. You toss and turn and can’t “turn it off.” You think about pivoting your business for the ump-teenth time this year and don’t know how to do that or even what should come first in the decision making process.

Already know what I'm talking about?

Nobody really knows what to expect for the future. You feel like you don’t have ANY control…and you struggle with how to make things work with what you’ve got.

There’s no such thing as work-life balance because you and your partner are working from home…the kids are schooling from home…and it feels like you work ALL. THE. TIME.

You feel isolated at times because you haven’t been able to go to lunch with a friend or have happy hour with a group since February…and you don’t know when that will be able to happen again.

If any of these things sound a bit familiar – what you’re experiencing is burnout.

But...the good news is that you CAN recover from burnout.

HOW?

Keep reading, or click the link below to hear more about my Level Up and Play Bigger group coaching course.

Well, there are a few basics that’ll get you started.

Get plenty of sleep, drink your water…and make sure you get in those steps too.

Aside from maybe a vacation…or just a break, you CAN recover by getting clear on your purpose. In other words, why do you do what you do?

Here’s the deal. We’re all in this together…I know that should be the bumper sticker of the year, but ya’ll – it takes a village to figure out how to get your mojo back, especially during these crazy times.

So, let me tell you how to conquer burnout and kick some Covid butt:

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Are you ready to beat the cycle of burnout, get back on track — and be better than ever?

If your answer is yes, your next step is simple. Sign up for my Level Up and Play Bigger two month coaching program. Registration is currently open, but ACT NOW because this course is limited to just 10 people! Once the spots are filled, the opportunity is gone. Plus, sign up today to receive my limited-time bonus offer: one FREE 45-minute strategy session one-on-one call!

Want to learn more about the Level Up and Play Bigger curriculum and what’s included? You’ll find all of that and more on my course information page.

I was chatting with one of my dearest friends the other day. She was so frustrated. Let me tee this up for you…. My friend is a SUPER high performing individual. She is a ROCK STAR in her industry. I don’t care if the economy is in the trash can or not – this girl could find a job when a million other people can’t. She’s THAT good.

Her boss told her that she is too passionate and competitive about her work. Her boss doesn’t acknowledge the innovations and successes she brings to her work. Her boss intentionally puts up roadblocks to prevent success. My friend is devastated about the thought of looking for something else but thinks that may be her only alternative at this point. 

You know what was my first thought when my friend was telling me about this? Wow…her boss suffers from an extreme scarcity mindset. She’s intimidated. Rather than applauding my friend’s efforts – her boss deflates the energy and discourages the effort because of a fear that someone else may “rise to the top.” 

If you haven’t read Stephen Covey’s 7 Habits of Highly Successful People, I highly suggest you add this book to your list. In the book, Covey talks about the differences between scarcity and abundance mindset. Essentially, someone who has a scarcity mindset thinks they can only have “so much,” and those who get more only means there’s now less for everyone else. They don’t find joy in other people’s successes. They have a hard time giving recognition to people who helped aid in an organization’s success.

Those people who have an abundance mindset feel there’s plenty for everyone. They find joy with the team’s success and recognize others for their hard work in the process too. Overall, these people are generally very positive and uplifting…and the result is a highly productive and engaged business.

We all suffer from falling into a scarcity mindset on occasion. It’s human nature. It’s normal. But, there are a few things you can do to be intentional about your mindset. 

I have four tips on how to develop an abundance mindset. 

  1. Let people know how much you value them. Let me tell you, kind words go a LONG way. We all want to know that the work we do is appreciated and valued. 
  2. Choose to find the silver linings. When something doesn’t go as planned, try to identify the opportunities versus going down the rabbit hole of despair.
  3. Surround yourself with positive people. Positivity is contagious. Be mindful of those people who tend to drag you down and limit your interactions with them.
  4. Give more than you get. I love what John Maxwell says about this: Be a river – not a reservoir. When you’re generous (and you let that generosity flow like the river) with your time or resources, not only does it make you feel good…it tends to come back to you ten-fold.

I’ll admit that I love a weekend getaway. It doesn’t take much to make me happy. I’m not the kind of person who requires two-week long European vacations. Nope, a night or two away does my spirit so much good.

My dad always talked about working hard and playing hard. Even during the ‘80’s oil bust and we didn’t have much money at all, my dad ALWAYS made sure we took our summer vacation to New Mexico. I KNOW he made a financial sacrifice for our family, but looking back now…we needed it.

I said NEEDED it…not just wanted it. But, our family had a deep need to reconnect once a year. Life (and my parents’ business) was hard, and my dad knew that spending a few days away from the hustle and bustle of it all would help reset our minds and renew our spirit. 

He was right. It’s funny that all those things he did for our family as I was growing up…he knew waaaay more than I did…and still does.

So, a few times a year (if not more), I make sure we take a few days to unplug because it truly is necessary in order to grow.

This takes some planning though. You know as well as I do that the weeks fly by, and if you don’t get intentional with your calendar – it’ll own you. The meetings, the presentations…it’ll all own you.

So, flip the switch. Take a break. Get out your calendar and find some time to unwind. Take the kids to grandma’s house. If you can’t go somewhere because money is tight, stay home and find something fun to do or just relax.

I realize we are just starting to get out from under a pandemic and economic shutdown, but now more than ever we need a break. 

I promise you – the creativity and renewed sense of spirit will work wonders for you personally and professionally.

What can you do in one hour? I’ve been told that I can get more stuff done in one hour than most people can do in four. I’m not trying to brag at all, but let me tell ya – as a working mom with three kids…I’ve learned to maximize an hour like nobody’s business.

I work from home. And, yes, my kids are home for the summer and yes…my kids have been home since March due to Covid-19. And yes…I hear my name called a million times a day too. I KNOW you can relate.

Here’s how I spend the first hour of my day…after coffee, of course.

  1. Check social media feeds to see what’s happened overnight. I’m not talking about scrolling your feed for an hour. This is a quick look at news-related items that might impact your day. Save the Instagram scroll as an evening activity.

  2. Check email and quickly respond to those emails I can address in under two minutes. For emails that will take a longer response, I’ll email that person and tell them when I’ll be back in touch with an appropriate response. I’ll flag those emails as my reminder to get back in touch with them so I don’t forget.

  3. I’ll address client issues that I can quickly address too. For example, if I need to prompt a client to answer some questions or things to think about – I’ll send those emails in the morning so clients can have the day to respond. 

PRO TIP: I don’t know about you, but I despise receiving emails from people asking a laundry list of questions or things to do on a Friday at 3pm. That is SO WRONG, especially if they could’ve addressed it earlier in the week or in the day. 

I realize things come up from time to time. But, those who systematically send me Friday afternoon emails wanting immediate responses, I’ve learned to train those people that I won’t give an appropriate response until Monday…and I let them know that as well. If it’s an emergency…that’s one thing – address it as quickly as possible. But…you know what I’m talking about…those people who relish a Friday afternoon fire drill need to be trained. 

You can accomplish a LOT in one hour. Promise. All you gotta do is take this 3-step approach and kill it.

The other day, I was at the grocery store getting the basics to have on hand at the house. I was looking for the peanut butter aisle, and I was in a bit of a hurry too. 

I finally found the aisle, and there was a lady standing in front of the peanut butter area. I stood there for a few moments thinking she would pick out her peanut butter soon…but, a few moments turned into several minutes and she was still standing there staring at the peanut butter. So, I said “hey, I just need to grab my Jif!” and she smiled at me as she quickly moved out of the way.

The funny thing was, I noticed she was still standing there after I picked up a few more items and was ready to check out. Truly, my heart sunk as I watched her. This decision of picking out peanut butter was paralyzing for her. 

I know it sounds silly to think it’d take more than a moment to pick out a product as simple as peanut butter, but for some people…small decisions take so much mental energy because they’re likely overwhelmed by the bigger decisions they need to make in their life and quite frankly what other people might think if they make a “wrong” decision. 

I know that as a working mom, I can’t tell you how many times I’ve questioned if I’m a good mom by the decisions I’ve made in my life. Everything from deciding to work late on a project at the office to just this past weekend at Central Market…my kids desperately wanted to make a gingerbread house with all the candy trimmings. Seriously, ya’ll…I stood there thinking, “Oh geez…I don’t want a huge mess to clean right now.” At the same time, there were two other moms ooo-ing and aahh-ing over what candy to pick out for their kids’ gingerbread houses. Quite honestly, I really didn’t care. Just being honest here.

Many times, I’ve been way too concerned about what other people will think if I did “X” when everyone else was doing “Y.” I mean, really…why should I care if the moms at Central Market thought I was a bad mom for not ogling over the gingerbread?

Rachel Hollis is one of my favorite podcasters, and she has often said, “If you’re experiencing anxiety, my question to you is – who are you trying to please?” So true. Sometimes, our decision making process is interrupted by anxiety and the endless need to people please, right?

I was reading research published in the Journal of Neuroscience about how anxiety works to disengage the part of your brain responsible for rational decision making. Essentially, anxiety steamrolls any ability we may have to make sound, good decisions.

So, what do you need to do to get your anxiety (and people pleasing) under control in order to make decisions? I’ve got three thoughts to share.

  1. Be mindful. Really stop to think about what’s making you feel the way you feel. Are you making decisions based on what your friends think or what is best for you? Focus on the things that matter…and that requires a lot of thought work. This is also the time to think about your purpose in life…what lights your heart on fire and are you doing the things that accomplish that? If not, that adds to the clutter in your life making it really hard to handle the decision-making process.

  2. Be self-aware. It is crazy hard looking at yourself in a mirror and digging deep about your own issues and what needs work. I know that for me, I have to slow down, self-assess and make myself aware of what’s going on around me. When I stop “doing” or in other words the proverbial hamster-running-on-the-wheel-act and start “thinking,” I’m giving myself power over my feelings and reactions.

  3. Make a choice. Just because you’ve made one choice doesn’t mean you can’t course correct if it ends up being the wrong one. Don’t let the hundreds of simple decisions we all have to make on a daily basis hamstring your ability to make the bigger decisions later. Our brains only have so much capacity. But here’s the deal…NOT making a decision actually IS making a decision too. So, clear the clutter with the small stuff so you’ve got the clarity for the big stuff. 

And by all means, if you’re seriously struggling…go talk to a professional. There’s nothing wrong with needing help. We all should be doing a little more of that in the first place.

Life is crazy. So many decisions to make. But, those decisions don’t need to be tied to what everybody else thinks. It’s your life. You’re the only one who is in the ring fighting the good fight on a daily basis. 

Get clear on your purpose and the things that matter to you… I’ve found that really helps me to quickly make decisions at work and home.

I’m at this phase in life where change is happening pretty much on a regular basis. As I’m typing this blog, I’m moving my family to Dallas this next week…like Wednesday. The kids are changing schools. New house, friends…you get the gist. 

Everything is changing.

I was doing some research, and there’s quite a bit of neuroscience data supporting how change registers in your brain much like an error does with a computer. You’ve got to fix the error in order to prompt the next screen, so to speak…or rather feel more comfortable to move on to the next phase in life.

My youngest son (Vance) is so wise. A few weeks ago, I was making a green smoothie and he wanted to “help” me blend it. He’s kind of a bull in the china closet type of guy, so I’m always reluctant for “help” in the kitchen…especially when using my Ninja blender. But, I let him. 

Then, came the pouring part. That was a disaster. Green smoothie went everywhere on the counter, dripped on the floor…and it was green and chunky, which totally grossed out my daughter who witnessed the entire episode.

Before my daughter completely lost her stomach with the green chunks everywhere, Vance quickly got paper towels and immediately started cleaning. He was so diligent too. My frustration of cleaning up a mess turned to adoration of his sweet spirit. As he was finishing cleaning up, I told him how proud I was of him for handling the mess. He said to me with the most ornery grin, “mama, I gotta pick up this mess and be ready for the next!” 

Hey, at least the kid knows he is a walking mess getting ready to happen! He has a high level of self-awareness at seven, I’d say.

I wish I had his outlook sometimes. But, the fact of the matter is the uncertainty of change can paralyze decision making. Instead of picking up one mess and get ready for the next, we stand there and stare at the green smoothie on the floor instead of picking it up. 

I was listening to a podcast recently, and the host said most people would rather be unhappy than make a change because at least they knew what to expect in their unhappy situation. Wow. I think it’s fair to say change = fear.

So, how do you deal with the messiness of change in order to prompt your next move? 

I’ve read several articles about change and found two key things that really resonated with me.

  1. Find humor amongst the craziness. YES! I love to laugh. I love to be around people who make me laugh too. I firmly believe laughter IS the best medicine. When your life is in a state of chaos, finding humor in it will help keep you grounded…and hey – it’s way better than crying. Try to find a funny moment in an uncomfortable situation. I think of these incidents as “SNL” (Saturday Night Live) moments. How many times has something happened and you thought, “Oh my gosh…the writers at SNL would have an absolute hey-day with this.” So, laugh…a lot.

  2. Focus on your values instead of your fears. I’m new to the Dallas market. Believe me, I’m really having to pump myself up…look in the mirror and say to myself, “I know my stuff. I’m smart. I’m moderately funny…and by golly people (for the most part) generally like me.” In all seriousness, focus on all those good things that make you – YOU. The great thing is that we live in a world that embraces just about every make and model of human out there. So, think about what lights your heart on fire and own it.

I know life is crazy…and it throws us so many curveballs along the way for sure. Find the people who lift you up and can help provide friendship, humor and some fun along the way too. 

Change may be best friends with fear, but I say let’s take change out for wine and pizza instead and try to show her a good time. Come on, let’s go!

Have you ever stopped to think about why people like you or better yet – why do you like them? I know this may sound a little narcissistic at face value. But, if you’re interested in your own personal development, it’s a good exercise to do on occasion. 

The other day, I was thinking about the various relationships in my life and wanted to share a few highlights with you.

This past weekend, my husband and I took a quick trip and stayed at a resort we’ve stayed at several times. We keep going back to this place. Why? It feels like home. People are so nice to us. They take care of our needs and wants. I feel amazing when I’m there.

I have my shops I frequent too. One shop in particular – Eden’s (located in the Paseo district of OKC…shout out to Eden Turrentine…the BEST relationship-building shop owner I know) – the shop owner knows me, my size, what I generally like to wear, etc. She even brings me clothes to try on at my office or at home just to make it easy for me. She’s the most delightful human as well. Over the years, we’ve become friends because I like this girl sooo much!

It took me a few years to find a doctor I really liked too. I didn’t want to be just a number – I wanted a relationship…someone who understood me and my idiosyncrasies. And she does. I can literally text her when I feel a sinus infection coming on, and boom…it’s like the magical pharmacy fairy delivers my antibiotics. It’s amazing! I love my doctor!

Overall, I choose to work and do business with people I know, like and trust. The interesting thing is – those are the relationships I find the most value and mutual respectfulness too. 

So, how do you build the know, like and trust factor with your colleagues and others in your life? I think it all comes down to relationship building. That’s at the core of it all. I have two thoughts to share, and I’m sure there’s soooo many additional ideas out there to add to it! Let me give this a stab….

  1. Get to know your employees, customers and vendors. Yep, that means strike up a conversation…ask questions about kids, family, vacations, etc. We all have a basic need to connect with others. 

    I’m sure you’ve heard this before, but it’s worth repeating. Access to social media and the internet has impacted our ability to develop quality relationships. We are so focused on the number of likes and retweets that we’ve become masters at superficial junk…and, interestingly enough – people are more lonely than ever too..

    So, put away your phone and have some human interaction. More than anything, be real and be YOU! People can sniff out a fake, wanna-be “friend” faster than your kid can open a present on Christmas morning. So, really y’all…be genuine when getting to know people.

  2. Be consistent. Have you heard of the concept “be the thermostat and not the thermometer”? Your thermostat stays at a regulated temperature. If you set it at 68, the thermostat’s job is to keep the temperature at 68. A thermometer reflects the temperature of its surrounding – it can go up and down depending on how hot or cold it is. 

    Be the thermostat! Be the leader who sets the tone. Be proactive – not reactive. Don’t let other people’s opinions change your course of action. If you’re setting a positive tone and environment, the thermostat leader doesn’t let negative behaviors influence the trajectory or end outcome. 

    How else can you show consistency? Show up when you say you’re going to show up. Stick to the deadlines you set. Although our personal lives certainly affect our mood, be consistent with how you interact with others…even if things are crazy at home. 

To me, the most important thing you can do to develop the know, like and trust factor is to treat people how you’d want to be treated…the good ‘ol Golden Rule.

As Maya Angelou said, “At the end of the day people won’t remember what you said or did, they will remember how you made them feel.” I couldn’t agree more. So, embrace all the feels and keep the temperature at an even 68 this week! 

Much love!

I don’t know about you, but life is crazy right now. It’s also the holidays. There is no reprieve for us parents. Kids are going nuts with a holiday break at Thanksgiving and another at Christmas…the energy is boundless with little people fully aware of Santa’s impending visit right around the corner.

At this point in my life, I’m also closing a chapter as my role as Chief of Public Affairs at the Oklahoma State Department of Education. I’m launching a business. I’m moving me and the kids to Dallas to be with my husband right before the holiday. 

I’m working to get connected in Dallas and staying as active as I can in two communities in two states. I’m trying to get Christmas coordinated at the new house so the kids have some semblance of normalcy on top of getting ready for a new school, new friends, new schedule. 

Life is…well, it’s chaotic. 

We all have seasons when life hands us a little more than we feel we can manage. It’s hard to keep all the balls up in the air at the same time. 

So, how do you survive the chaos? 

I have two tactical pieces of advice and then one piece that’s more life skill oriented, I suppose. Overall, though, I know I’ve preached this before and it’s worth repeating: Make. A. Plan. 

  1. At this rate, I have my stick-it notepad that is utilized on a daily basis. As I drink my coffee every morning, I write down the top three things I MUST get done today and then jot down a few items that need to be handled that week. 

  2. I use my Google calendar ALL the time and drop in lots of reminders…reminders for picking up dry cleaning to what I need to get at the grocery store. I’ll even “invite” my husband for some of the reminders, just to keep us both “in the know.” There’s so much happening at one time that you have to keep organized or you’ll go batty crazy. 

  3. The other thing that is helpful for me is working to manage my mind…my thoughts. I’m sure this sounds hoaky to some, but I firmly believe that taking a minute or two to get your head right in the morning will lead to better outcomes during the day. In other words, you choose your attitude.

Get a hold of your negative thoughts about yourself and really stop to think about what’s holding you back from being successful. Is it fear of change? Is it the fear of making a wrong move? Is it the fear of what others might think of you? Whatever your “thing” is – grab hold of it, and get it wrangled or it WILL wrangle you.

I’ve been asked by a lot of people how I’m feeling about leaving my job and moving to Dallas. When they ask, I can see the look in their eyes as if “I can’t believe you’re leaving your home of 44 years…aren’t you scared to death??” 

It’s a big deal. I get it. 

But, my answer? Bring. It. On. Bring on the new house, friends, life. Bring on the insecurities of it all too…because, believe me, I’ve got those as well. 

Bring on the challenge. To me, there’s nothing better than showing my kids (and myself) that I can do whatever I set my mind to do.

Life is full of change, and I do believe what makes us stronger is leaning into the unknown. You’ll never grow if you don’t try something that forces you out of your comfort zone. The hard truth is – none of us know what tomorrow really holds anyway…even for those of us who make “perfect” plans. It’s not like you can’t course correct if you make a wrong move. 

You can choose to be scared or you can choose to dive right in and figure it out along the way. That being said, I believe in thoughtfully diving in…and this requires you to think ahead. Assess your risk factors, make a plan, and execute. If you’re confident in your decision making processes, then go! Make your move.

I do believe what helps keep your head above water is DOING rather than just thinking about it. Write your to-do’s on the stick-it note pad…put all your appointments on your google calendar, and then DO IT. 

And here’s the deal…if you make a mistake, dust off, figure out what went wrong, and go for it again. Remember, the chaos of the season is temporary. Embrace it. Make your plan, and then execute. 

We’ve got this.

Check out my video here!

I’m sitting here in my living room watching a sappy Hallmark Christmas movie (yes…I know the ending already), wishing I could have a glass of wine. However, I’m doing a green smoothie cleanse that is stripping any joy from my coffee and wine consumption for 10 days. 

Here’s the deal, though, holding off on things (I’m seriously debating if holding off on wine could EVER be a good thing) can be good and frankly, help save us from the consequences of saying exactly what’s on our mind.

This season of joy can get hard, right? At work, you have colleagues who are struggling personally and then bring their baggage with them to the office. We all have burdens we are carrying, and the holidays definitely exacerbate things. 

Feelings are amplified…anxiety is ever-present. The struggle is real, ya’ll.

At home, my kids are literally bouncing off the walls so excited for a week off at Thanksgiving. Emotions are riding high, and it’s so hard to keep the juggling act going for days and weeks on end. 

And, to boot…I’m tired. 

Nope. I’m exhausted. 

This talk of “holding off” or biting your tongue can be super hard when your nerves are shot. How do we do it? How do you bite your tongue when it’s so hard to keep your cool?

Let me first say that I’m a tell-it-how-it-is kind of girl. My mom would tell you I’ve always been vocal about…well, just about everything. It’s how I’m hard-wired. If I have something to say to someone, I say it. 

So, being the kind of girl who typically doesn’t have trouble saying what’s on my mind…it’s RARE that I have to bite my tongue. Frankly, it should be rare for you too. 

That being said, I also know that when we get upset, the amygdala in our brain (otherwise known as the lizard brain) takes over and fight, flight or freeze becomes the primary driver. It’s been scientifically proven that it can take upwards of 30 minutes to calm down once your amygdala has been triggered. 

When you’re not processing thoughts with your prefrontal cortex and don’t have logical and rational thinking occurring, you can get into trouble. In other words, get ready. If you can’t bite your tongue, you may wind up with a lump of coal in your stocking…or worse.

Furthermore, I have no doubt that during this festive yet stressful season, our amygdala is in full swing. So, here’s a few thoughts about when you should bite that tongue….

1. Bite your tongue when you’re angry or upset. Walk away. Take a breather. Do what you need to do to take a break and regroup. It won’t do you or anyone else any good to say what’s on your mind when you’re in the mood to kick your trash can.

2. If you don’t have anything helpful to say, then bite your tongue. My mom always said, “If you don’t have anything nice to say, then don’t say anything at all.” 

I also have to add that if you can’t offer solutions to problems (and just want to complain), that doesn’t help anyone either. Be a solution provider – not a whiner. In this world of adulting, if you don’t have something productive to say or offer, just do yourself a favor and please…don’t say it.

3. As the holidays approach us…and all the fun office parties too…be mindful of your alcohol consumption. You’ve heard this before, but let me repeat: getting drunk at office parties is often a recipe for disaster. 

Alcohol triggers all sorts of destructive comments that could wind up getting you fired. I know we’ve all heard horror stories (or witnessed personally) about those liquored-up-colleagues we see having a REALLY good time and think, “holy lord…they need to STOP.” So, just don’t do it. Control yourself at the office party, and you’ll thank yourself later for doing so. 

4. Bite your tongue when others start to gossip…and then walk away from it.  This has bad written all over it. Don’t be THAT person. It never ends well.

There you have it…my two cents for when it’s a good thing to bite your tongue. Have a fabulous week…and more to come next week!