Have you ever stopped to think about the people in your life and those who you just really admire? When those people have something to say…you listen intently. Can you think of anyone like that?
Conversely, have you ever stopped to think about those people in your life who drag you down…who when they talk, you feel uncomfortable? I KNOW you can think of at least one person…if not a few.
So many of us are people pleasers…I’m a recovering one myself. I was listening to a podcast recently, and the host was talking about anxiety. She asked a group of female business owners to raise their hand if they considered themselves to be a people pleaser…and a large percentage of the audience raised their hand. Then, she asked for people to keep their hands raised if they experienced anxiety…and people kept their hand raised. The host’s response was “So…who are you trying to please?”
It goes without saying that anxiety plays such a big role in our life and for a lot of us – it doesn’t have to. *Caveat: For those people who need medical support, I completely understand…and your anxiety is on a different scale than what I’m talking about in this blog post.*
That anxiety is fueled by a need we have to ensure that we’re not upsetting anyone…that we are staying in our lane and not stepping outside of it. The problem with this is that people pleasing disrupts our ability to unapologetically get things done.
When we are worried about what others might think, we tend to not pull that trigger on projects or new ideas…we don’t speak up in meetings when we have something to add to the conversation. Ultimately, we don’t get stuff done because we are too hung up on what everyone else might think of us if we say the “wrong thing” or step on someone’s toes or whatever the case may be.
Funny enough – what we THINK might upset someone and what we THINK others might think of us is typically NEVER accurate. Most of the time, we are concocting worst case scenarios in our head. The reality is – we are the star in our OWN movie. In other words, no one else really cares about what we are thinking as much as WE think we do.
Think about it like this. Have you ever been in a car wreck? You pull off to the side of the road and start calling for help. It’s amazing how other drivers passing by rarely pull over to help. It’s not that they’re bad people or anything. They have their own lives to worry about and don’t want to stare too long or they’ll wreck their own car.
The point is this: Worrying about what other people think only delays your progress.
Your homework for today is to think about those people who you’re trying to please. Are those influencers really “in it” for your benefit or not? If so, that is awesome. If not, take some time to think about how you can set some boundaries on that relationship.